Monday, May 2, 2011

aftermath...

not really sure what to post about. there are a lot of pictures around. so, seeing more damage pictures isn't really necessary. but, this blog is my journal too. so, i did take some pictures and i will be posting them here. i want to forget and never forget- all at the same time.
today i am frustrated. i am frustrated for others, and for myself. this disaster has been so disruptive. and it will continue to be. for a long time. it really, really doesn't make sense or seem fair. one thing that has been so fabulous i know there are a choir of angels in heaven rejoicing loudly about it--- the community. oh, my, gosh. THAT is cool. really, really cool. and not just with supplies and food, but PRAYER. there are community services going on in all of the devastated areas. i mean, hello? is there anything that brings more *relief* than prayer?
i must admit, today, haven't felt like praying. isn't that terrible? i just am feeling flat. yuck. so my precious mama reminded me, the Holy Spirit can intercede for me, pray on my behalf. just knowing that brought a sense of peace. it also made me want to get out of my funk. i don't want to ask the Holy Spirit to pray for me because i am not that bad. there are so many more that need that than i do. so, instead of feeling badly, i am sitting up, and trying to get my thoughts down here and be ready to face the struggles.
one fabulous thing is that there are power trucks in my neighborhood!!! that is such good news. i am far more spoiled than i wish i was. i like my power. i should hardly complain, as we do have a generator that has really helped to keep me sane. it is borrowed. from my brother in law--- he's so good to me when my hubby is out of pocket. but, believe me, a generator is on the SHORT list of must-haves... like it trumps all fun personal purchases that might make me happy. i *like* having a generator! i hope i don't have a need for it any time soon... but man, it is such a source of comfort!
{{{mikey just came in and said he talked to one of the power people and we should have power soon! probably not before mikey finishes whipping up some lunch on the camp stove on the deck, though. ;) but that is fine... mikey can do some pretty gourmet cooking on a camp stove!}}}
so from thursday to now... it's been pretty wild. giles has been out of school- his school still doesn't have power. so, we've had a lot of togetherness. :) i can't even really remember what we did on thursday. i guess i got up and cleaned up the house a bit since giles was at his grandparents house. before the storm the house was in a bit of disarray. i hope i learn to always keep my gas tank full and my house tidy! when you're out of sorts from a storm, it is harder when you have added challenges. after a little tidy, i just wanted to hug my baby!!! so, with *some* apprehension i got back on the roads that had really challenged me and my sanity the night before. i was able to take a toll bridge and make record time to my mother in laws house. that was such a boost to my confidence.  and seeing my baby, oh man, that was good. he was so ready to come home. he just didn't understand how boring that would be! so he stayed there and we hung out for awhile. then i headed back to my house to take care of the animals. i wanted to be out and helping, but mike is working out of town and that just made everything different. i had giles to care for, animals to care for, a fridge to keep running via a generator that needed to keep running. spending thursday night here was a total different experience from wednesday night. the 'unknowns' were less by then. giles still stayed with my in laws. i just knew if anything happened, i couldn't focus on it because i would need to help him. and just didn't want to have that added stress. so, i slept well and did a repeat of thursday by heading to the in laws after giles. he really wanted to come home and i thought him coming home and just seeing that all was well would be a good course of action. and PLUS, mikey was homebound. a very welcomed change!!! he is just such a support, strength and 'getter doner'---- so he made the journey home from mississippi. before heading back home after picking up from mimi's; we pulled in to chick fil a. a fellow junior leaguer owns it and runs it so well. i just had high hopes for wifi  so i could check my email! i am not good without a little computer time- lol... so, we hunkered down at CFA for a bit. ate, surfed and played. ashley said it was looking like an internet cafe in there the past 24+ hours. i can imagine! and it was packed!
oh my gosh. i can't believe i forgot! on thursday mikey and i celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary!!! of course we weren't together, but it was special all the same. he sweetly ordered me a pink bouquet of flowers. it arrived on friday to my in laws house. they were, of course, meant to be delivered on thursday, but the shop wasn't able to do any deliveries on thursday. so, friday, they arrived! and are beautiful. thank you mikey!!!

friday evening mikey got home safely, we were so glad to have him home. giles was playing with his friend across the street at our neighbors house. so, since we didn't have power, we visited with them and watched some of the coverage. at this point, i still had seen very limited coverage. dateline was airing from tuscaloosa. that was pretty neat to see. i thought brian williams couldn't have made a better decision than to spend time in tuscaloosa rather than focusing on the royal wedding coverage. i love him!
it got pretty late and we were starving. we hadn't eaten since lunch. we drove around just a bit. it was very dark, quite late {10pm} but i caught the first glimpse of my city with my own eyes. it was beyond shocking. it rocked me to my core. people had been there. there was no escaping for some of them. things that seemed stronger than anything you could imagine were twisted, crumpled, laughed at by mother nature. normal was gone. giles utilized the word 'damaged' more times than i could count! i hope we didn't scar him by taking him right through it all. i even went so far as to tell him chuck e cheese was gone and the doughnut store
... that is when mikey cleared his throat. apparently, i was going a little too far. i just wasn't up for sugar-coating. it's real, it's raw and it's different. he can say he wants his birthday party at chuck e cheese or krispy kreme, but it is not going to happen. so, i did retreat and kept my dismay within. but it really just jolted me out of my comfortable little reality. and who likes that?  not me. anyway, we ended up at buffalo wild wings, it was the only place open. and once inside--- aside from only being able to order free bottled water or beer {don't think it was free- lol- we didn't check} it felt pretty normal. mikey was home and we were together. it was a nice escape.
it was also so nice to sleep in our own beds. i hadn't felt comfortable leaving my little compound in my den, so i had been sleeping on the couch. having mike and giles at home with me- that was good! i slept like a champ as did everyone else.
our dogs needed to have some exercise! the unofficial tuscaloosa dog park was calling our name. we loaded up 3 of the 4 dogs, a kid and a bike and went on a hike. it was so nice, and again, sort of 'normal'--- although passing all of the 'damage' wasn't. but i think it's fair that we be reminded. too many people are hurt and suffering for me to not see it and be reminded to pray for them and remember how fortunate we were.
i really struggle with how fortunate we were. why were we? and when i, or others, claim to be blessed by God for not having suffered disaster--- were they not blessed? or were they blessed and just can't see it? how are you blessed when your child, mother, brother, father, son, daughter, etc suffers- either with death or loss? i just don't know. i do know though, God has a plan. it's bigger and greater than the human mind can comprehend. so, for me- when it's all said and done, that is enough.
sunday was a day we spent together. we hiked at sokol and did laundry alllll day at mike's parent's house. it felt good to have more normal. and now, as i have been writing this, more normal has been restored! we have POWER!!! and, baby, that feels GOOD!
i have had a plan in my head, i don't want the efforts to diminish in the coming weeks and months. i have donated a good bit of clothing and supplies to the current relief effort, but i am feeling called to do more. i know this seems insignificant now, but sooner than later, the holidays will be upon us. i know decorations are not critical, necessary or significant in the grand scheme of things. but i have *always* been into holiday decorations. i don't know what i will do, or how i will do it, but hopefully i can do something like a holiday decor drive to help those who have lost what little they had and can't spend hard earned money on things like that. hmmm....

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